Wolf Moon

Whew! The holidays flew by in a rush. Almost so fast it was hard to enjoy them! I have been making and planning and procrastinating quite a bit lately, but I think I figured out what's going to happen. I'm going to be HAPPY! I know without a doubt what I want out of life, and I almost have a plan figured out how to financially support my dream and keep my family loved and fulfilled.
 Since forever, I've known that I love to help others. Listening, offering guidance, being there for them. My hands sometimes feel as if they are on fire with energy and I just have to touch. I have repaired my own soul through help from others and a lot of hard work on my part. And I know that's what I want to do. I want to help others find themselves. I want to help them heal and mend the broken pieces. I want to offer guidance in growth, both spiritually and physically. Through art, meditation, writing, yoga, and a lot of personal soul searching I feel as if I can help others heal. I'm combining all that i do into a package/service to offer. I've only been offering things locally, but with Skype and via phone, I will now offer to help others anywhere. In the next few weeks I'll be able to cement all of the boring stuff so that I can get down to business.

 I've also been reading cards for others at home. You can go to my facebook page and get a card pulled by commenting on the daily post. Stop by!

Tonight is the first full moon of 2014 and I'll be making smudge sticks for my Etsy shop and sitting with the spirits. There are so many things that you can do during a Full Moon to help your energy. At the full moon the energy builds and builds....there's an explosive outgoing aspect to it. All of nature grows and is more vital at the full Moon. This surge allows you to take action on behalf of any new Moon intentions you set, as well as set new intentions and beginnings. 

• You could use this evenings moon to release any old internal baggage you've been letting weigh you down. Write everything you want to rid yourself of; be it bad habits, or bad relationships, anything that does not lift you up. Find a container ( I use a cast iron pot) and using a candles flame burn all of those slips of paper and watch the smoke disappear, taking with it your anxiety and frustrations that surround the subject.
• Sit in a quiet place and allow yourself to become centered. If you are able, try to get somewhere where the light of the moon can be seen. Imagine that light as a healing light and let it bathe you with it's beauty and power. Strengthening your soul as well as your will. As it washes over you allow your mind to quiet down and accept the purity and cleanliness of it. Feel your soul becoming rooted in love and trust; of yourself, your power, your love. Believe in yourself and allow your body to be healed in the strength of the moon.
• Set an intention, something that you want to accomplish or create in your life. Write it down, or paint it...create something that you can come to and be reminded of what you wanted. Intentions set under a full moon create a powerful wave through the universe, letting all who will listen know that you are ready to accept change. 

I hope this finds you well and helps you through all that you are experiencing. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you ever have questions or comments. You can reach me through facebook, twitter, pinterest, etsy, or through my email-happysappytrees@gmail.com. Namaskar!

I Surpassed- So Will You

So many of us have been victims in the past, and we harbor so much self loathing and embarrassment  as if we were somehow to blame for the way we were mistreated.

I'm here to tell you, this is

UNTRUE!

I am a survivor of sexual, mental and physical abuse...actually I'm a warrior of it. I have, through art, writing, and speaking about the bullshit, been able to re-strengthen my soul and repair my wounds and realize-

I AM NOT TO BLAME.

 This was done to me...I didn't ask for it , i didn't cause it, and I sure as hell didn't like it.

If you are a survivor of abuse- become a WARRIOR. Write about it. Yell about it. Paint it out. Run it out. Talk about it. You can heal, it takes a lot of work, and sometimes a lot of tears, but the healing process won't begin until you start the process. Grasp your truth, hold on to it tight, and share it. Your story will help others learn, grow, and heal. It may even prevent.

Lost in Loss

I'm a superstitious person. I always have been, but I've always been intuitive and a bit of an empath as well. My mom and grandmother are the same way and my mom has had many encounters with energy in a way that I envy and am a little afraid of too.

 that being said- 

A bird flew into my house 2 week-ish ago. As soon as it did, I told my husband- three deaths to come. He of course laughed it off, he always does. That evening, I found out a young friend of mine had passed in his sleep. In his thirties, healthy and strong-dead. This past Tuesday, the same dang thing...My friend and boss was found in his sleep- passed at 42. I know negativity breeds negativity- but facts are facts. Every time a bird comes into my home, 3 people I know pass.And the scariest part of this is the final waiting period- the last shoe to drop. 

I don't grieve in a 'normal' way.  Every since my best friend and first husband passed suddenly in 2001 I've kinda put up an emotional wall to the passing of a soul. I don't feel as if i'm hardened, but i do feel as if I'm not as touched by sadness.  I feel as if spirit is formed into a new being and given a second chance- maybe that's why i'm not so saddened...but I don't like to be around the sadness of the living- the grieving. That much emotion in one place really affects me in a negative way- and I try to avoid it at all costs. So I generally bow out of funerals  Does that make me weak? no one likes funerals  I realize that, but I honestly get physically and mentally ill at death gatherings. I don't know that I can participate in another procession. 

And now the looming fear of Whats next-who's next is over my head and heavy in my heart.

I'm lost.

I'm lost in loss.

I'll find myself, soon, I know this- but this is a journey I never like to take.

Svadhisthana

this is the second in the Chakra series- 

self worth- the seat of life

(I've been working on my Chakras for a while now, and I feel like it's an ongoing process, but that I'm really starting to understand the process and myself a lot more...here is just a bit of what I've learned for you to start your own practice and healing...)

What are Chakras?
 Chakra's (pronounced Cha-kra, like chocolate chip...thanks Sam and Kaoverii!) are mental and emotional energy centers placed along your spine. Asana's (yoga poses) were invented to help heal and release blockages within your chakra system. ANYONE can work on their Chakra's- without going against their religious beliefs.  Learning about your chakra's gives you access to your bodies physical responses so you can minimize the negative effects and maximize the positive ones!
 There are currents of energy that course throughout your body - like a road map they are plentiful, but there are 4 main highways...the first two are-
 The upward current-Mukti or the freedom path runs from the earth and rises through the body toward ever more awareness.
The downward current Bukti or manifestation  starts at the crown of your head and goes down towards the earth growing more and more specific until it manifests on a physical plane.

Peoples issues are almost never physical but always tied to mental or chakra energy. Heal that and heal yourself.

Svadhisthana is your second Chakra also called your Sacral Chakra. It represents how you handle your own emotions and sexuality. Imagine it as an invisible wheel of energy located a few inches below the navel in the center of the pelvis right in front of the sacrum. Blocked Svadhisthana energy can result in feelings of 
having done something wrong and guilt can ensue. It is difficult to taste life’s sweetness and nothing seems good enough. There also may follow a feeling of helplessness, as if you have no choice and no initiative to change. In some cases denial of pleasure may result along with self-imposed boundaries about food intake or exercise.The Sacral Chakra is associated with passion and creativity – and the soul desire to feel.

So, I recommend journaling everyday, and also meditate and do asana's. While working on your Sacral Chakra ask yourself a few questions while sitting grounded comfortably and concentrating on the chakra such as...

Am I well in my body- where are my insecurities and how can I fix them?
What can I let go of that was traumatic to me?
What can I forgive or grow away from?

As you journal, really listen to your truth. Envision your self; safe and sound, and open your self to the energy around you. This may bring up issues you never realized you had, with yourself, environment or your spirit. That's okay! Getting to know the real you is scary. Admitting your different than what you thought you knew is weird to most people. But, the better you understand yourself, you give yourself the gift of growth and truth and change. Open up and experience all that life is offering, it's an amazing trip!

Following journaling try to meditate – focus on the region of the chakra, envision the color orange and repeat a mantra (I am well in body, mind and spirit or something that resonates within you)

If you feel as if this is a journey you can't handle on your own, you're welcome to email me ( happysappytrees@gmail.com) with questions and comments. I would be happy to help in any way I can. I'm no expert, but,  I have been working on myself since I realized I was alive. It's a never-ending journey and I'm constantly being taught by others around me as well as my subconscious. You can never have enough knowledge or growth! I'd love to hear about your journey!

 I will be offering an on-line workshop based on healing, art,  chakras and intuition starting in January. I hope that you will join me for that as well!

Muladhara

this is a self empowering series that I will offer on Wednesdays- let me know if you enjoy it!

Survival- Security

(I've been working on my Chakras for a while now, and I feel like it's an ongoing process, but that I'm really starting to understand the process and myself a lot more...here is just a bit of what I've learned for you to start your own practice and healing...)

What are Chakras?
 Chakra's (pronounced Cha-kra, like chocolate chip...thanks Sam and Kaoverii!) are mental and emotional energy centers placed along your spine. Asana's (yoga poses) were invented to help heal and release blockages within your chakra system. ANYONE can work on their Chakra's- without going against their religious beliefs.  Learning about your chakra's gives you access to your bodies physical responses so you can minimize the negative effects and maximize the positive ones!
 There are currents of energy that course throughout your body - like a road map they are plentiful, but there are 4 main highways...the first two are-
 The upward current-Mukti or the freedom path runs from the earth and rises through the body toward ever more awareness.
The downward current Bukti or manifestation  starts at the crown of your head and goes down towards the earth growing more and more specific until it manifests on a physical plane.

Peoples issues are almost never physical but always tied to mental or chakra energy. Heal that and heal yourself.

Muladhara is your first chakra, also called the root chakra.  It  represents how you participate in the physical realm...body, home, work, environment ..it's self preservation...it makes sure you survive so you can continue to grow and enjoy this journey.

So, I recommend journaling everyday, and also meditate and do asana's. While working on your Root Chakra ask yourself a few questions while sitting grounded and concentrating on the chakra such as...

What keeps me grounded?
How do I connect with my physical body? With Nature?
Where do I feel safe?

As you journal, really listen to your truth. Envision your self; safe and sound, and open your self to the energy around you. This may bring up issues you never realized you had, with yourself, environment or your spirit. That's okay! Getting to know the real you is scary. Admitting your different than what you thought you knew is weird to most people. But, the better you understand yourself, you give yourself the gift of growth and truth and change. Open up and experience all that life is offering, it's an amazing trip!

If you feel as if this is a journey you cant handle on your own, you are welcome to email me ( happysappytrees@gmail.com) with questions and comments. I would be happy to help in any way I can. I'm no expert, but,  I have been working on myself since I realized I was alive. It's a never-ending journey and I'm constantly being taught by others around me as well as my subconscious. You can never have enough knowledge or growth! I'd love to hear about your journey!

 I will be offering an on-line workshop based on healing, chakras and intuition starting in January. I hope that you will join me for that as well!

Process Not Product

If you asked a student of the fine arts to define my works I bet they would call it juvenile, immature, or just plain ugly. But the thing I have so much trouble trying to convey, is that I don't create art to hang and admire. I'm not in a competition to win awards or ribbons, and I'm not wanting to take part in the fine arts groups who snub other creatives. I paint and make to improve me. I work through mental issues or times on paper and canvas. I disassemble my dreams and thoughts through paint and ink. 

I PAINT FOR PROCESS

If more folks painted because it feels good, instead of trying to make money or be admired at how 'talented' they are, I think the stress levels of the world would decrease exponentially. I'm happiest when i have paint on my hands or words flowing through me onto paper. You can't fake the kind of freedom and joy I feel when I create. And you cant buy that feeling either.

Making art IS the art.

 The final piece is just a material thing to collect dust and be seen. When you teach someone how to create, you don't use a finished painting or object and say "copy this". You talk about the processes you used when creating the piece, how you approached it, and what you did. Anyone can create. Teaching the ins and outs of art is an amazing craft and with practice you could create an image so fine it can look like a photograph.But is that FUN? Are you enjoying recreating a replica of an object already in existence? Wouldn't it feel better to start a painting or poem or song or drawing, and being a lighter and better person when you finished that piece? What if you could solve a personal dilemma just by painting? 

YOU ARE A CREATIVE SOUL

Don't let the fact that you "can't" draw keep you from scribbling or doodling or drawing. Make something! There is no difference between you and Van Gogh or Warhol or Kahlo. They were humans, who had a vision, and the confidence to follow through with it. They believed in their creativity and art regardless of what others thought. And you should too! Believe in yourself, trust the process, all will be 

AWESOME!!

Sacred Souls Gathering

I've started a monthly gathering of women- a place where we can re-calibrate our intentions and as a community flourish with love and creativity...I'm excited about all of the strong and independent women that will gather at one time and the amount of power that will be present! If you are in the area please join us...

~A gathering of women remembering their innate power~ Please come and enjoy the power and affirming energy of the Sacred Souls Women Circle. We will open with cleansing the environment, breathing, meditating, journaling, and a bit of music, food- and then closing with a silent circle and three rolling om's... (we would appreciate if everyone would provide some sort of covered dish, dessert, or beverage. I'll provide plates cups cutlery etc) Please bring your journals and an open heart! ~Namaskar~ Anastasia

Friday Sept. 28 7-10pm

212 W. Main St.

Gastonia NC

28052

New Workshop!

My friend Rachel and I are going to have a Gastonia Paint Party Studio! It's going to be wonderful!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

7:00 PM - 9:30 PM

A fun activity for date night, girls night out, work parties or just for pure fun!
Adults are invited to attend this 2.5 hour evening class where each person will create a version of the “Painting of the Day.”
Students can be beginners to advanced painters. The goal is fun through creativity. Canvases, paint, and brushes will be supplied.
Attendees may bring a beverage to sip and/or food to munch during the event, if they so desire.

If you're within driving distance, we'd love to have you!

Today I smudged myself, my house and my husband. He has been surrounded by a huge cloud of cynicism and self-doubt lately, and it's driving me bananas. He used to be the most upbeat guy ever. I almost feel guilty for finding my path and healing my Wild Woman. But I do put great intention and prayer into his being as well, hoping that it will lighten his load a little. 

I've always wondered though, when I try to put good will into the universe, if they are not ready for it, does it attach itself to them and eat away at the negativity anyway?I hope so, I love my friends and family, but I love me more. And I cannot let anyone bring me down, I've fought too hard to find my path, and I'm too happy to sacrifice it for pessimistic attitude. 

 I want to teach others to find their Joy, their Bliss. I want to teach others to BECOME themselves. I can't express fully how happy I've become by clearing my soul of negativity and actually putting in the work to be the best me. And I work on me every single day. I start out with my stream of conscious writing,  and then I Art Journal. I also try to meditate and practice yoga daily. If I have time, I paint or sew a new creation. 

 You have to try to make time for yourself everyday, and I do this in little spurts. I grab 15 minutes here or 20 minutes there for myself, it doesn't sound like much, but it adds up! And when every one goes to bed, I really get to work! 

Tomorrow- when you wake up, take ten minutes to write, just empty your mind onto paper for ten full minutes. Julia Cameron calls this Morning Pages, I call it, emptying the trash. It keeps garbage from rattling around in my head all day. Then at some point in the day stretch for a few minutes, you don't have to do yoga, just stretch. Your body will love it. Then, find some time to be STILL. Don't move for a few minutes. Let your mind wander, but not on business or home, on you. Listen to you, where are you sore? Where are you tired? Where are you sad? Breathe into that part of you. Inhale deeply and visualize your clean gust of air going into your achy ow-ey spot and forcing the "bad" out. (I do this with my son when he gets angry!) Push the bad out completely, even if it takes a few breaths. When you are finished cleaning out your insides,your outsides should feel a little lighter, and more content. If you continue to do this daily for a week, you'll really see a difference in yourself-I Promise!!

xxsmoochesxx

Healing...

Yoga Art and meditation are helping me heal the old wounds that have started to resurface. A few years ago, I'd have said " this is too hard" and instead of pushing through I would have quit and started something new....not now. I'm making myself go into the studio and paint every day, I get up every morning and write and I'm doing doing yoga every day for at least 30 minutes. And you know what? I don't feel as much weight on my shoulders. I don't feel the nagging pull of i should be doing something, and I don't feel the depression that follows after a great bout of procrastination. I think at 35 I'm actually growing up and becoming me. Slowly but surely...I will be me.

Self Excavation

This is me. This is my light right now. Tiny and surrounded by shadows and lack of colors and filled with gloom. Lets call this light my creativity. And I'm the flame...wanting to shine brighter despite all the other elements. Today, during my morning pages( or mourning pages, cause that's how I feel ) I had a complete meltdown. I started out just writing what was going through my mind, just to get the garbage out, which changed to soul and how I felt like I didn't have enough when I paint, and how I want to apply more soul to my paintings. And out of no where WHAM! Wounds I forgot were even there started rising to the surface threatening to drag me under with them. Things I thought were gone, were really hiding under layers of scars and quick fixes and pushed down as deep as they could go. Childhood images of happiness and sorrow, of me creating and actually realizing when and why that stopped and how innocent I was. And how I was ROBBED. Someone stole from me, some ONES stole my whimsical childhood, my innocence, my light,  before it was even shining at a full force. When it was a tiny flame, a baby really. And for some reason no one knew but me. No one protected me. Why? Where were my protectors? Now- how do I heal? Jonny say's to keep writing, keep painting, paint through the pain, "it doesn't have to be pretty- it has to be real." And I'm finding it harder and harder to paint ugly and real. Sweet little nothing paintings, shallow and fun, are so much easier to create. But that's not the artist I want to be. I want to be real, I want to make people see my sorrow, feel my rhythm, cry with me. Love it or hate it, but FEEL something. That's the type of artist I aspire to be . That's the type of artist I AM becoming and will forever be. Devils be damned.