With Belief, It Should Be All Or Nothing

 I believe in Magick. I believe in spirits, sprites, magical beings, faeries, and other worlds or realms. I'm 38, and I still believe. That's not to say society, from my parents to my peers, hasn't tried to shame or mock this belief from me. Even my own husband who doesn't believe in the faerie world or mermaids, but does believe in angels and ghosts and haunting's, mocks me for my 'fantasy filled' mind.( But still wants his cards read every now and then.)

 I think that my belief of otherworldly things, solid belief, is what helps when I need things done. When I read the tarot, I believe. When I light a candle for someone, I believe. When I meditate or journey, I believe. When my intuition kicks in, I listen. Wholeheartedly. And it works.

 In my opinion, you can't 'dabble' in belief. You can't, say, say a spell, then wake up in the middle of the night from fear and pray to Jesus nothing gets you, then defy the Bible(and it's beliefs)  the very next day with  another 'spell'. You can't say a spell for a friend out of a book, then the next day mock your own practice or make light of it. Your constant belief is what makes it come true. Thought and belief are the two most powerful things out there. If you believe anything, then, in your world, it's the truth. But it must be true. You must stay consistent. 

 I never believed in speaking in tongues, but my great grandmother did...and she could not only tell you if someone were true, but she could interpret exactly what they were saying. She could also pray off a wart or a sickness. And her faith in God was true. My great-uncle could cut your hair, put it in a hole in a tree, and rid you of an aliment. They did this, and succeeded, because their belief was strong and never wavered. They never second guessed themselves or their understandings. 

 Whatever you believe, wherever your faith lies, you must first, believe. And, second, you must study. You must devote your life to your truth. No truth comes easily. If you want a 'power' you have to earn it. If you want an outside force to work for you, you must first understand who and what you are asking. Begin by studying. If you feel it isn't worth your time and energy, do yourself a favor and find another way to achieve your goals. If you want to cast spells, you can't simply pull one up from a random book or website and expect success. You first need to learn about magic. Spells don't work because of the props you use, or your ingredients, or the words you say. They work when you understand the principles of  what you're doing and why you are doing it. They work when you have learned to meditate and have disciplined your mind in order to alter your state of consciousness at will and to raise and focus your energy. 

I'm not saying you have to, in anyway, abandon your faith and religion to practice a new 'faith' or belief. Or give up what you know to be true to travel a new path. I'm just saying that no matter what you want or want to be, you must first have faith in what you say and feel. And know that it is true. Don't doubt yourself or your faith. 

Remember the three wise men of the Christmas story who brought gifts to baby Jesus? They were Magi. 

Historically, Magi weren't known for pulling rabbits out of hats, but they were a part of a long line of  consultants to kings who worshiped various gods, practiced the occult, studied the stars, foretold the future,  interpreted dreams, and probably experimented with spells, potions and elixirs. Then around 600 B.C., the  Old Testament prophet Daniel was put in charge of the Magi of Babylon (Daniel 2:48). That's when there  was a noticeable shift in how the Magi of Babylon worked. They operated more like a priestly order,  became monotheistic (worshiped one God), and even sacrificed animals for their sin. Daniel no doubt turned  them to depend upon God for their powers. So while sorcery is condemned by the Bible, not all the  magicians in the Bible are "bad guys." The difference? The three wise men bowed before Jesus, and Daniel  was clear that he could interpret dreams by God's power, not his. (Found here)

Find your path. And meditate on it. Decide if you are willing to change or alter yourself or habits in order to live your chosen path. And if you are- Keep your faith strong and your heart true. Nothing should sway you. 

I'd love to hear your opinion on this...please, lets be civil, this is a touchy subject; I know, but it's been rattling in my head for a few days and I need to air it out. 

But She Doesn't Look Sick...

I don't look sick, do I?

I'm not disabled, Thank GOD, and I'm not dying or have such a debilitating disease that I'm not or can't be active. I have hypothyroidism- which SUCKS and causes stupid symptoms like...

Weight Gain

Memory loss

Foggy Memory

Tired/lethargy

Weak

Depression

Dry Skin

Brittle Nails

Constipation

Irregular Menstrual Cycles

 A few years back when I was pregnant with my middle son I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroid- it's no good either. But, I didn't feel this way. And I was thin, which is vain but true. And then I went through a period where I was fine, nothing was wrong with me! Little did I know that the hyper was causing my body to produce too much hormone and that eventually it was gonna cause my thyroid to poop out. Sure enough, now it produces too little hormone. For a long time i thought that I was super tired because of lack of sleep, four kids, night job as a bartender, drinking, over taxing myself. And yes, while those things added to my problem, I was unaware of the fact that my little throat butterfly was out of whack. So i'm on medication, and I've quit caffeine, lessened my sugar, and almost given up gluten. As well as doing yoga 6 days a week and drinking a gallon or more of water a day. Guess what- I still have a gut that causes people-even complete strangers, to ask me when I'm due.Not only is it embarrassing to explain to the person, it hurts my feelings. A Lot. I know they are not trying to be mean. And I know that I'm doing everything that I can to get my weight under control...even though I don't look obese, I have a huge gut and extra weight everywhere. Forty extra pounds on a 5'6 small frame really shows up you know? Anyway...

 So here's where I'm going with this. There are a lot of folks out there that have illnesses that you can't see; and they are trying to manage, and struggle with on a daily basis. Some days they feel fine- like today, I'm not tired, I feel good, and I'm able to stay busy. But then there are days that you feel rotten, and you can't leave your house or your bed. Those people are not FAKING IT. Just because you can't see the physicality of an illness does not mean it doesn't exist. Just because you don't see wounds or scars does not mean that person is not in agonizing pain. Be compassionate, to EVERYONE. Give everybody a chance! You have no idea what battle or path these people are trudging through and by dismissing them because of an 'invisible' illness you are doing them a HUGE injustice. And as far as judging that little lady that parks in the handicap zone and then hops out and walks quickly to into the store without a visible limp, or if she/he is in their twenties and they look 'fine'...don't be an asshole. DO NOT judge them. They are luckily having a good day, and I guarantee they would trade a handicap sign and 'great'  parking for wellness any day. So stop being rude, and stop asking questions. Treat everyone EQUALLY AND COMPASSIONATELY. It's not hard to be polite or to just hold your damn tongue, Ya know?

Layers of Adventure

 I love to create, but sometimes I fall into this place. That place where I worry if I'm marketable, if others will appreciate me and my work, if they will even understand. I've been there for awhile, and then today, I realized that I DON'T create for others! I create for ME!
 When I paint for myself, I make things and use materials in ways I never would have, if I put thought and direction into it. I'm not saying a plan is a bad idea...it's just not the way I work. I create freely and intuitively, then I find the imagery in the art. Then I pull it out with high and low lighting-some of my paintings are ten even fifteen layers deep, but each layer tells a story of the adventure of the piece. The growth of the the releasing of creativity. When I forget that, painting becomes a chore. But today, it was a gift!
 Let yourself free, and take an adventure into and with your art, you will be surprised where you end up if you just LET GO.

Hand in Hand

I teach a Sip and Paint Class every other week at Gaston School of the Arts. Taking a blank canvas and a person who's never painted, and teaching them to trust their creativity is my magic. It's what I live for. For a long time, I only created things I felt were "popular". I would only teach something if I thought it would generate interest. But then I remembered...I quit making art for others a long time ago, why start back up? If someone feels drawn to my work, then they'll join the class, if not then- that's okay too!

 If you'd are in the area and feel 'drawn', then stop by! Or just check me out online...
MadHatters Paint Parties

I'm So Awesome, You Are Too!

So it's not always pretty, this life you live. MAKE it pretty. Own it, decorate it and live it. Open your own doors and get on your soapbox. Shout from the rooftops about how awesome you are. Make yourself happy- the rest will follow- I PROMISE.

I wear tutu's and tiaras-
So what I'm 37 and not royalty. That's in your reality. In mine, I know that I looked damn cute dressed as a princess ballerina,and it makes chores so much more fun! Stop doing what you think others approve of and do what you approve of! Now I'm not giving you free anarchist reign- we have laws and ethics and morals for a reason. What I am saying is- who made it a rule that you can't wear pink hair at 50? Who says forever 21 is only for those under the age of 21? Why- Why is it frowned upon to have fun and act a little kooky?
I could give a seminar dressed in a monkey suit and I bet my words would reach you just the same. We put to much emphasis on adult hood and being stodgy. I refuse to be of the mindset that I need to wear a pantsuit to be accepted,or taken "seriously",  make your silliness acceptable! Prove that you can be professional, efficient and damn good at what you do- even if you are carrying a Jem lunchbox for a purse. Have fun with your life- It's yours and you may not get to come back...enjoy yourself while you can.

Positivity breeds.....more positivity!
And negativity does the same. So drop the Debbie downer act. Look on the bright side- there's always a bright side if you look for it. And if you're always looking for the downside, waiting on the other shoe to drop, sad sacking it around town, or wallowing in misery...you're going to get more of the same. You are wasting your life, if you are being down and out about everything-always. QUIT IT! Your bumming yourself out, and probably everyone within earshot...booo, NO FUN.

Forgive the asshole-for you, not for them.
Humans do stupid things. Some because they're assholes, some because they're mean, and some are really accidents. Regardless- forgive them, and move on. If I held a grudge against everyone who purposefully or not had hurt me in the past, I'd have to pull a wagon behind me, my grudge would be that big. But you're not the only person that's been wronged, or deceived  or hurt. You are, however, the only one that can make yourself keep going. Release your sadness and anger- and focus on making yourself happy.

I'm easygoing- but I'm no ones doormat.
I forgive and  move on, and I release. But I'm no sucker. I choose my arguments and let things slide. But- when you are blatantly being harmed- FIGHT BACK. Don't allow anyone ever to bully you, hurt you, cheat you- or just generally screw you over. Get away from those situations, and LEARN. REMEMBER. And don't fall for that shit again. You are not a bad person for expecting respect and speaking up for yourself. And you don't have to be violent to get your point across. But, get your point across. Make sure others realize you are a good, honest, open, and loving person- that takes no shit from nobody. That won't make you less of a good person, it'll make you better.

My life's awesome.
Because I say so. Because I make it so. Sure I have poopy days, and my husband and I argue, and my kids get wacky from time to time. But those are small compared to the fact that I'M ALIVE. I get to experience something new everyday and change and grow and learn. How awesome is that?!? Get your ass out there and live, breathe, love. Quit floating through life like a ghost...don't just exist-  create the life you want and make it freakin colorful and bright! LIVE!

The Great Purge-

I'm still cleaning- but I'm making progress! I should be done Tuesday and then I can get to the important things-MAKING!!

But my Class studio is AWESOME!! 2013 is the year of DOING!

Create Your Own Path

I believe in me. This is not a bad thing. If I want something done, I do it. If I need money, I work and make it. I don't depend on others for my happiness and I don't blame anyone else for my emotions or failures. The only obstacle that ever stands in my way is me. I create my own happiness and I do not allow others to affect me- negatively or not. The blame game is a dangerous game, and i feel as a whole we have lost the way. We blame others for our mistakes, never excepting that we create our own destiny's and choose our own paths.

I MAKE MY OWN MAGIC!

and sometimes, I share my magic with others. But they have to be willing to accept it and work with it, not just expect it to do all of the work for them. 

It's not always easy. It's hard work creating your own path and walking it! But, if you are willing to get off your ass and do what you say you are going to do, IT WILL HAPPEN. The only real and true magic, is the magic you create within yourself and spread where it is needed. Quit waiting for a gift to roll to you. If you are not putting in the work, the Universe will not even respond to you. Energy flows two ways, out and in. If it's only flowing in then there will be a blockage, nothing is helping open the path for even flow. Show the Universe that you want to accept all that it has to offer, by working hard, loving harder and enjoying life. Shove fear and self doubt to the side and open yourself to all things and you will start to feel your magic become stronger and more powerful- you will create your own path!

WISH BOTTLES:

To help my children visualize their wishes and wants, we created these bottles- 

As we made them we talked about what we wanted out of life, what we wished for, and how we could make that come true. Now everyday, they can walk by them and reaffirm their wants, reminding them of their path, and help them remember the talk we had about how they have to do the work to help their wishes come true!

Materials- 

Glycerin

Distilled water

Glass bottles with cork or lid

glitter

ribbons

feathers

Pour half glycerin and half water to the bottle, then add glitter, and little stars to the mixture. Lid it and shake it up- so awesome and sparkly! Decorate the outside of the bottle with ribbons, trinkets and baubles- place it in front of a window and yahoo!!! Beautiful!

(I got this idea from Pintrest- but I'm not sure which website it came from...comment me if you know the original source)

Today I am whole

Today

I except myself

Today

I realize my potential and will nurture it forward

Today

I hold love in my heart, ready to give anyone willing, a drink

Today

There are infinite possibilities

Today

I will cherish the home in which my spirit is dwelling

Today 

The energy of my being is ablaze and ready to do great things

Today

I begin

Soul Talk

Please print this out and hang it up!

There are not enough people who are aware of what acceptance of a gift feels like.

Or hear the opening of a door. 

Or realize when their wishes and desires come to fruition.

You need to listen to your soul talk, hear the whispers, and know that they are true. 

Accept the offerings and open doors; before they are whisked away, or closed.

Never to return.

Trust what you feel,

and

Listen.

PS- You can never want or wish for too much- but it's up to you to be open to getting it.

Journaling

Journal pages, journal pages, time to get your journal pages, time to get your crayons and your pencils...(sang to this tune)



Journaling has become one of my favorite things to do after meditation.The images and words that I gently push to the side during my 'sit' I gather together in my journal through paint, ink, crayon, and pencil. How awesome would it be if they collectively explain all of my subconscious secrets when spread out and read?!? Spending just 15 minutes a day in your journal will give you a deeper understanding of the real you...

Don't you owe yourself a little love and understanding?

Muladhara

this is a self empowering series that I will offer on Wednesdays- let me know if you enjoy it!

Survival- Security

(I've been working on my Chakras for a while now, and I feel like it's an ongoing process, but that I'm really starting to understand the process and myself a lot more...here is just a bit of what I've learned for you to start your own practice and healing...)

What are Chakras?
 Chakra's (pronounced Cha-kra, like chocolate chip...thanks Sam and Kaoverii!) are mental and emotional energy centers placed along your spine. Asana's (yoga poses) were invented to help heal and release blockages within your chakra system. ANYONE can work on their Chakra's- without going against their religious beliefs.  Learning about your chakra's gives you access to your bodies physical responses so you can minimize the negative effects and maximize the positive ones!
 There are currents of energy that course throughout your body - like a road map they are plentiful, but there are 4 main highways...the first two are-
 The upward current-Mukti or the freedom path runs from the earth and rises through the body toward ever more awareness.
The downward current Bukti or manifestation  starts at the crown of your head and goes down towards the earth growing more and more specific until it manifests on a physical plane.

Peoples issues are almost never physical but always tied to mental or chakra energy. Heal that and heal yourself.

Muladhara is your first chakra, also called the root chakra.  It  represents how you participate in the physical realm...body, home, work, environment ..it's self preservation...it makes sure you survive so you can continue to grow and enjoy this journey.

So, I recommend journaling everyday, and also meditate and do asana's. While working on your Root Chakra ask yourself a few questions while sitting grounded and concentrating on the chakra such as...

What keeps me grounded?
How do I connect with my physical body? With Nature?
Where do I feel safe?

As you journal, really listen to your truth. Envision your self; safe and sound, and open your self to the energy around you. This may bring up issues you never realized you had, with yourself, environment or your spirit. That's okay! Getting to know the real you is scary. Admitting your different than what you thought you knew is weird to most people. But, the better you understand yourself, you give yourself the gift of growth and truth and change. Open up and experience all that life is offering, it's an amazing trip!

If you feel as if this is a journey you cant handle on your own, you are welcome to email me ( happysappytrees@gmail.com) with questions and comments. I would be happy to help in any way I can. I'm no expert, but,  I have been working on myself since I realized I was alive. It's a never-ending journey and I'm constantly being taught by others around me as well as my subconscious. You can never have enough knowledge or growth! I'd love to hear about your journey!

 I will be offering an on-line workshop based on healing, chakras and intuition starting in January. I hope that you will join me for that as well!

Today I Believe

If you pull back my skin this is what you would see.

 Today is the day I make a move...I have to decide which path at the fork in the road to take. And it looks like its going to be the one overgrown with weeds and briars, potholes everywhere. But i'm sure I can forge through and create a beautiful path with flowers along the sides and no feral animals in the wooded areas, it's just going to take me actually DOING the work. I tend to plan and dream and start...and fizzle...so my goal is to finish everything I set out to do today...and for the rest of my life! I need completion, but when you finish something- then it's open and bare and available to be criticized and judged...and that's something i'm still not comfortable with...the non-attachment to my work, my life, me...I think I've held the thought tight in the back of my mind, that if I'm always a work in progress, I can never feel the sharp sting of the criticism that's sure to follow. And who says there going to be criticism? Well, I can only assume my inner critic; that jerk that tells me constantly i'm NOT good enough, he's the ass that's been fueling my fears for 37 years. And I'm putting a stop to his whiny sniveling voice TODAY. 

I AM ENOUGH

I AM AN ARTIST

I AM BEAUTIFUL

I AM A GOOD MOTHER

As I write these mantras statements, I KNOW that they are true, I own them, but then, right when I'm about to finish a project, I feel the fear creeping up on me, and I find something else, "more important" stuff to work on, procrastination...it's a hell of a crutch.

So no more!

I WILL BELIEVE...

in me

in my art

in my life

in my abilities

I'm awesome, I just sometimes forget it!

Process Not Product

If you asked a student of the fine arts to define my works I bet they would call it juvenile, immature, or just plain ugly. But the thing I have so much trouble trying to convey, is that I don't create art to hang and admire. I'm not in a competition to win awards or ribbons, and I'm not wanting to take part in the fine arts groups who snub other creatives. I paint and make to improve me. I work through mental issues or times on paper and canvas. I disassemble my dreams and thoughts through paint and ink. 

I PAINT FOR PROCESS

If more folks painted because it feels good, instead of trying to make money or be admired at how 'talented' they are, I think the stress levels of the world would decrease exponentially. I'm happiest when i have paint on my hands or words flowing through me onto paper. You can't fake the kind of freedom and joy I feel when I create. And you cant buy that feeling either.

Making art IS the art.

 The final piece is just a material thing to collect dust and be seen. When you teach someone how to create, you don't use a finished painting or object and say "copy this". You talk about the processes you used when creating the piece, how you approached it, and what you did. Anyone can create. Teaching the ins and outs of art is an amazing craft and with practice you could create an image so fine it can look like a photograph.But is that FUN? Are you enjoying recreating a replica of an object already in existence? Wouldn't it feel better to start a painting or poem or song or drawing, and being a lighter and better person when you finished that piece? What if you could solve a personal dilemma just by painting? 

YOU ARE A CREATIVE SOUL

Don't let the fact that you "can't" draw keep you from scribbling or doodling or drawing. Make something! There is no difference between you and Van Gogh or Warhol or Kahlo. They were humans, who had a vision, and the confidence to follow through with it. They believed in their creativity and art regardless of what others thought. And you should too! Believe in yourself, trust the process, all will be 

AWESOME!!

In my studio

Sacred Souls Gathering

I've started a monthly gathering of women- a place where we can re-calibrate our intentions and as a community flourish with love and creativity...I'm excited about all of the strong and independent women that will gather at one time and the amount of power that will be present! If you are in the area please join us...

~A gathering of women remembering their innate power~ Please come and enjoy the power and affirming energy of the Sacred Souls Women Circle. We will open with cleansing the environment, breathing, meditating, journaling, and a bit of music, food- and then closing with a silent circle and three rolling om's... (we would appreciate if everyone would provide some sort of covered dish, dessert, or beverage. I'll provide plates cups cutlery etc) Please bring your journals and an open heart! ~Namaskar~ Anastasia

Friday Sept. 28 7-10pm

212 W. Main St.

Gastonia NC

28052

The Lump in My Throat

I got a very validating and terrifying call today. A gentleman contacted me and said he had gone into my studio and saw a piece of my work that would fit perfectly with a project he was working on and could we meet?

 Holy Moly- someone is actually drawn to something I created?!?  I actually started to cry when I got off the phone...I never realized I doubted myself until someone I've never met before complimented me!

And then it hit me...EVERYONE doubts themselves...everybody has that inner critic, something that tries to tell them they are never ENOUGH...And, guess what? That fear has no real power...it can slow you down, you can let it trick you into sabotaging yourself or even not following through. But when you get to the real root of it , and all that's there is fear, you HAVE to push it aside. The lingering what if's and self-doubt cannot be a part of your plan. Fear has no power. It can't stop you...you stop yourself. Tell that fear to fuck off and go ahead with your plan. You are amazing, and once you believe that, the what ifs and fearful thoughts disappear like smoke.

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

She Runs Too-(WIP)

Intuitive Painting using Acrylic and ink- Still not finished!!

Goddessing

Spurred by centuries of male dominated organized religion (or a supreme deity referred to by masculine pronouns i.e. "he"), some women embraced the idea of a female deity that was more in keeping with feminist beliefs and the inherent value of women. A unifying theme of the movement was that the gender of deity characterizes the political gender-bias of the religion, so a Goddess Worshipping religion is held to be matriarchal and a "God" worshipping religion is held to be patriarchal.

Goddess beliefs can take many forms; some people in the Goddess movement recognize multiple goddesses. Some also include gods. While others honor what they refer to as "the Goddess", which is not necessarily seen as monotheistic, but is often understood to be an inclusive, encompassing term incorporating many goddesses in many different cultures. The term "the Goddess" may also be understood to include a multiplicity of ways to view deity personified as female, or as a metaphor, or as a process.

• Goddesses refers to a local or specific deities linked clearly to a particular culture and often to particular aspects, attributes and powers.

One can regard a goddess (in this sense) as an aspect of the Great Goddess as well as a specific goddess with a particular role within a pantheon.

• The Goddess or the Great Goddess is a female deity that is regarded as primary. When Goddess is spoken of as a personal guardian, as in 'my Goddess' it usually means 'my worldview in Goddess spirituality.'

• Goddess Spirituality is sometimes used as a synonym for Goddess Movement and sometimes as the spiritual practice that is part of the Goddess movement.

• Goddessing means Goddess culture, Goddess way of life, Goddess practice, or 'my goddessing' as in my individual interpretation and experience of Goddess.

(Found on Wikipedia)

My love of women has only within the past 10 years been renewed. I was always the girl with all the guy friends because other girls were too bitchy or high maintenance. I considered myself a feminist and wanted nothing to do with ladies in lipstick or fancies and frills. And then it hit me- Feminine is the Meaning of Feminism- you can't have one with out the other. It's not degrading in any way to love to cook, or knit, or breed, or mother, or be pretty. And why dislike other women? They are just as unsure or insecure as I am. I don't do anything in this life to please anyone else but myself. And the thing that pleases me most is to help others find the magic within themselves. And help them bring it out into the open. I want to be TRUE and I want others to find their truth too. 

I AM A GODDESS~ AND SO ARE YOU!

This does not mean that you are going against you're religion, or that you feel like you're better than others. Or even that you are more 'enlightened'. It just means that you can except the fact that you are a creative and unique woman with the power to do anything you set your mind to. And you are not afraid of you're own power. Let's believe in ourselves and share our power with our sisters. Give love!

The Power To Empower

 The idea to start a Woman's Circle has been strumming deep in me for a while. I want to make a difference in my community. And I want to start with my sisters.  The idea that right now in this time of political uprising,   Women are one of the most vocally and physically attacked beings on the planet- bothers the shit out of me. The strong, independent, powerful, mother/sister/friend/goddess is becoming an endangered species one power at a time. They will start with stripping away our rights- and end with convincing us that we have NO power. WE are the mothers of this earth. We are the POWER. We give BIRTH. To ideas, children, LIFE. We are strong, and we have to ban together and not allow any one to convince our sisters that they are not special, powerful.

 YOU- WOMAN-YOU ARE AMAZING- remember that you hold power, remember how to harness that inner strength and energy- it's been with you since the beginning of time.

We ban together, we teach our daughters, we never forget.

We have the Power to Empower

LOVE

Please love and trust yourself...if you believe in you they will too.