Overwhelmed and procrastinating

THIS IS FOR REAL

I moved most of my studio back home, out of the downtown spot I was in, and I'm in the process of opening  a new studio tomorrow -at 7. I'm OVERWHELMED. So what do I do? Brew a cup of coffee and get online. Every now and then I glance up at this horrific challenge  and decide where something else is gonna go, and how I 'm going to get it there , but mostly, I want to ignore it.

 I don't mind hard work- at all, but getting started is a pain in my ass. And I know this is most everyone elses ass pain. So I'm challenging myself to figure out a solution to my humongous problem...

1. Section everything out- books, supplies, cloth etc.
2. Small piles- once a pile gets big, deal with it- if it's larger than a laundry basket, deal with it! Immediately!
3.Trash/donate- Do I really need 7 tubes of the same color paint? 2 copies of the same book? a whole box of sequin waste? Luckily, the Kidney Foundation will stop by the next business day and take anything I want to donate off my hands.
4. Organize- Find a home for everything, put it back in it's home when you're finished with it- as soon as you're finished with it.

Ok- I'm throwing down the gauntlet and excepting the challenge- wish me luck! I want to have at least half of this finished by dinner time. If you have any added tips or hints, please leave them for me in the comments section...I'll post pics tonight or in the morning of my progress!

31 Days of Giving

 I've been lax in my posts but I have been gathering bags and bags of clothing and toys to give to others and to donate to the Kidney Foundation. Every free day is spent gathering and giving. Getting the kids involved is a feat-but their toys are going to good homes!
  I'm also giving of my time on Tuesdays and Thursdays through the month of December. I'm offering free open studio time at my new art studio located at 825 Union Rd Gastonia, NC 28054-I'm in the Visual Arts building and offer classes from knitting to journaling to painting. I also have a monthly woman's circle starting back up in January. And yoga and meditation weekly. It's my favorite place ever right now!

I'm going to enjoy the giving of the season. This came to me last night after the 10th toy commercial in a row followed by a chorus of "That's what I want for Christmas!" I've failed my children in this area, they're so hungry for materialistic goods, and things being advertised to them and they've lost their sense of what it truly means. There is a beautiful JOY in the giving of an item to someone else. So in order to remind my family and myself  of the TRUE meaning of the season. I will give something away everyday. And I'll post about it here. It may be a tutorial, a recipe, a book to a child, something of mine that will bring JOY to someone else. And I'd like to invite you to do the same!I'd really like to make this a community event- so let me know if you want to join me in 31 Days of Giving and I'll create a blogroll that we can all visit and see how everyone else is giving!

Rooted

-WIP Acrylic on canvas-

I'm really into the idea of healing my root chakra and being more grounded...and all of these lovely earthy ladies are coming out of my head and flowing all over the canvas!!

I've got so many amazing projects a buzzin' everywhere! The minute I set my faith and trust into the Universe things have been happening at an accelerated speed! GOOD things! 

My friend Rachel and I are hosting Mad Hatter Paint Parties every Wednesday at Arts on Main in my hometown Gastonia NC. Please stop by and see us! We have a new painting every week and we also both offer private classes.

I still need quite a few votes to be eligible for the grant being offered by Chase and Living Social... Just go to Mission:Small Business log in and vote for HappyTrees Studio. Please! You would really be helping me create an amazing community in my beloved hometown.!!

The Reason I'm a Bartender...for now...

 This is my awesome friend Xaine (Go to her site-NOW, you will be astounded by her talent)- an amazing Fiber Artist, super creative and talented in everyway; and-she's having a bad day today...ie: "I can't make it financially, I'm not good enough, I should just give up now,  I'll never make it" etc...

 I have these days A LOT. They're scary, debilitating  and sometimes brings on such a strong wave of depression, I won't even go into the Studio for days. WHY? What happens in our head that makes us do so well for so long and then in the blink of an eye we are so depressed we decide we'll never do anything with our lives and we may as well quit now. I know that when I have a bad night bar-tending or my bills are due, I  start thinking " If I wasn't such a crappy artist I wouldn't have to work at the bar" which continues into," I'll never make money, I'm not a real artist, I should quit now, I don't try hard enough"... which sends me into an even further decline of looking online and comparing my work to others work and getting jealous, and wishing and wanting, and not be as good as...which wastes DAYS. At the time I don't see that, but what I SHOULD be doing is CREATING THROUGH IT ALL!
 When I start feeling 'less than'- I need to get off my arse and get paint on my hands, or a pencil to some paper, and work through my pain, and self doubts. I have to force my way through that cloud of funk.

As for comparing myself to others- that should be a NO NO in all artists lives. I'm an orange your an apple- hell, usually i'm a cactus...not comparable- yet I do. Finding inspiration from other artists is awesome- being inspired to the point of jealousy or competition is CRAZY. I'll never make art like you- my soul is like a snowflake, a thumbprint...it's unique to me and even if I painted the same picture it would still not look exactly the same because it would have my art soul all over it.

 Yeah, so I'm not self employed yet, and I have to work another job to help out...but that should fuel me into wanting to work harder and prove to myself that I AM AN ARTIST! Sometime, part-time, quiet time, all the time... doesn't matter, I'm an Artist and as an ARTIST I have to MAKE. ART is MAKING AND DOING, not the done...not the product, and the more I make, the more options for others there are out there for some one to fall in love with, and want to purchase. I will forever more try to work through my depression instead of marinating in self loathing!!! That's a promise I'm making to me and you!

Messy and fun

This is the painting I've created for Poor Richards Book Shoppe. It's acrylic, ink pencil and crayon on a wood panel. I paint with my hands only and intuitively. A messy practice but SO FUN!

Protection in the West

WIP Pitt Pin on Mixed Media Paper

My journey to the West held this magnificent beast in a cave at the bottom of the ocean, holding all of my fear beneath her like an egg. She protects me from the full brunt of my fear, only allowing a little to escape at a time for me to experience...but i'm learning to teach my protector to release that fear into the ocean to be consumed by the elements.

Become Your Own Muse

Are you ready?
It's a new day. Let's get started!

Who do you want to be?
Become your own muse.
What did you decide?
 What can you do to make it happen?
 (You know, you get to the same destination, with ten tiny steps or two big steps...)

  I want to create an e-course, so I could jump feet first and do it all this weekend(which would overwhelm the heck outta me) or I could make a baby step. I choose a baby step. So today, I'm going to start on my brainstorming, by putting all of the ideas on paper that have been rollin around in my skull for weeks. Inactive and unused, I think I thought if I wrote it down, it'd be real, and then I'd have to follow through with it. Ha! I was right. The time for self-sabotage is OVER! By just making that first step, I'm telling myself "get off yer booty and make it happen!" That first step is the proof my insecure me needs to realize I'm serious about my life.

What baby step can you take today? What effort can you put into your life to get started?

This is the scariest part. That first move, after you take it, the rest is a breeze! And if you get stuck? ASK FOR HELP! 

Yep, it's that easy.

I've been slowly gathering beautifully creative souls around me so when the time came I could use them as a sort of padding, a buffer, from my fears of failing and my insecurities.( I'm a part of the Goddess Circle, and I feel like they would help me in any instance.) Start thinking of who you could surround yourself with. What sort of person do you want near you to make you feel secure enough to make that leap?  If you think you don't have anyone, ask me! I'll be there for you, I LOVE to help and if I don't have a solution, I'll find someone that does!

So today, make a move. Get started...draw a picture, collage a chair, put color on a canvas, ANYTHING...but do something. Start today on your new beginning. We'll do it today, together!

Today I smudged myself, my house and my husband. He has been surrounded by a huge cloud of cynicism and self-doubt lately, and it's driving me bananas. He used to be the most upbeat guy ever. I almost feel guilty for finding my path and healing my Wild Woman. But I do put great intention and prayer into his being as well, hoping that it will lighten his load a little. 

I've always wondered though, when I try to put good will into the universe, if they are not ready for it, does it attach itself to them and eat away at the negativity anyway?I hope so, I love my friends and family, but I love me more. And I cannot let anyone bring me down, I've fought too hard to find my path, and I'm too happy to sacrifice it for pessimistic attitude. 

 I want to teach others to find their Joy, their Bliss. I want to teach others to BECOME themselves. I can't express fully how happy I've become by clearing my soul of negativity and actually putting in the work to be the best me. And I work on me every single day. I start out with my stream of conscious writing,  and then I Art Journal. I also try to meditate and practice yoga daily. If I have time, I paint or sew a new creation. 

 You have to try to make time for yourself everyday, and I do this in little spurts. I grab 15 minutes here or 20 minutes there for myself, it doesn't sound like much, but it adds up! And when every one goes to bed, I really get to work! 

Tomorrow- when you wake up, take ten minutes to write, just empty your mind onto paper for ten full minutes. Julia Cameron calls this Morning Pages, I call it, emptying the trash. It keeps garbage from rattling around in my head all day. Then at some point in the day stretch for a few minutes, you don't have to do yoga, just stretch. Your body will love it. Then, find some time to be STILL. Don't move for a few minutes. Let your mind wander, but not on business or home, on you. Listen to you, where are you sore? Where are you tired? Where are you sad? Breathe into that part of you. Inhale deeply and visualize your clean gust of air going into your achy ow-ey spot and forcing the "bad" out. (I do this with my son when he gets angry!) Push the bad out completely, even if it takes a few breaths. When you are finished cleaning out your insides,your outsides should feel a little lighter, and more content. If you continue to do this daily for a week, you'll really see a difference in yourself-I Promise!!

xxsmoochesxx

Preparing for Words

The first of many pre-painted journal pages...for a long time I was trying to do everything all at the same time. I felt like I needed to sketch, draw, paint and write in order to finish a page. Silly! I don't have to follow any rules....there are no rules. Only wants...what do I want to do??? Who cares how others do it? It's so easy for me to forget that the coolest part of being an artist, and a self taught one at that, is that I never have to follow any rules. I never have to go into a box, never have to be structured...

 So the next open path in my journey, is helping others figure out the same thing. There are no wrongs, screw ups, mistakes...it's all meant to be for a reason. You intuitively know what needs to be where, even if your mind and eyes are telling you different. The more we listen to our heARTs and souls, the more in tune we are with everything, and art just flows naturally. Will everyone agree? NO. And not everyone will like it, but you can't second guess yourself based on what you think others will like about you. I officially no longer give a hoot about what anyone thinks of my self expression and creativity. It's MINE! My art(and yours too) will speak to some, and some will dislike it...but you have to love it. Once you love it, the rest shouldn't matter, doesn't matter...Make ART!

In the Studio