Shhh- My Souls Talking

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Shhh- hear that? That litany of voices in your head...how do you ever get anything done? I have the same mixture of sounds blaring through my skull every day. Here are a few things that I do to shush them up.

!. Julia Cameron is a genius...I write three pages in long hand everyday. EVERYDAY. Some times its lists, sometimes its notes, diary pages, sketches with catchy phrases...but everyday I write something. It totally dispels a bit of that noise and trash that's cluttering up my brain space.

2. Meditate- I sit for 10 minutes EVERY DAY in a quiet place and let my self quiet down and I just breathe. When a thought comes in my head, I gently imagine that I let it float into a box and then I concentrate on my breath again. Even if I only get a few seconds of real meditation everyday, a few seconds to me is better than none.

3. Walk outside. Go into nature. Sometimes just letting my bare feet touch grass and soil soothes the loudness in my brain.

Try one or all of these things. Get a routine set up, where you write, then meditate, and then maybe go outside. Slow down and b-r-e-a-t-h-e. With time you'll notice that its a lot more quiet and roomy in that ole skull of yours.

My Inner Child

  It's taken me until now to be okay with my inner child and to let her out, for a while I had completely forgotten about her! And now she's coming out to play a lot. I never realized how damaged I was, how hurt I was on the inside, how bruised and still wounded, but slowly I'm healing my inner girl-child and I'm doing better for it. I had to start with forgiving the badness and evil in my past. Just let it go. I had no control over it then, and I can't control it now. So why let it rattle around in my head and soul and continue to surprise attack me? I got rid of it. I am getting rid of all the darkness, an ongoing process I'm finding, but it's well worth it. I wake up most days with a smile on my face and a very light heart ready to be creative in everything I do. Journaling, painting, art journaling, yoga and love...and a very supportive group of awesome women, those are my secrets! I wake up, make sure everyone's taken care of or gotten off to school, and then I write my morning pages and do about 30 to 45 mins of yoga- all the while fending off a baby that thinks i'm giving pony rides. Then I play with Bama for a bit until she gets absorbed in her doll house and then I paint, sometimes for thirty minutes. sometimes ten. We play, then I paint...throughout the day. Then around lunchtime we eat then get JC at preschool. We run around for a bit then, snack time and paint time for me. By then my hubby comes home and usually takes everyone with him to get the older ones and I paint a bit more then get ready for work. Of course, this is an ideal day. Most days are filled with laundry, cooking, cleaning etc...but I still make time. Nap time is awesome! Nourishing my soul with art and yoga is making me a better person and mom. And it'll make you better too. Take care of you, you deserve it!

me at 3, being creative!

Self Excavation

This is me. This is my light right now. Tiny and surrounded by shadows and lack of colors and filled with gloom. Lets call this light my creativity. And I'm the flame...wanting to shine brighter despite all the other elements. Today, during my morning pages( or mourning pages, cause that's how I feel ) I had a complete meltdown. I started out just writing what was going through my mind, just to get the garbage out, which changed to soul and how I felt like I didn't have enough when I paint, and how I want to apply more soul to my paintings. And out of no where WHAM! Wounds I forgot were even there started rising to the surface threatening to drag me under with them. Things I thought were gone, were really hiding under layers of scars and quick fixes and pushed down as deep as they could go. Childhood images of happiness and sorrow, of me creating and actually realizing when and why that stopped and how innocent I was. And how I was ROBBED. Someone stole from me, some ONES stole my whimsical childhood, my innocence, my light,  before it was even shining at a full force. When it was a tiny flame, a baby really. And for some reason no one knew but me. No one protected me. Why? Where were my protectors? Now- how do I heal? Jonny say's to keep writing, keep painting, paint through the pain, "it doesn't have to be pretty- it has to be real." And I'm finding it harder and harder to paint ugly and real. Sweet little nothing paintings, shallow and fun, are so much easier to create. But that's not the artist I want to be. I want to be real, I want to make people see my sorrow, feel my rhythm, cry with me. Love it or hate it, but FEEL something. That's the type of artist I aspire to be . That's the type of artist I AM becoming and will forever be. Devils be damned.