Wake Up and Get Grateful!

Be Grateful.

Everyday.

When you start to get pissy or down on yourself, think about what you really do have. I've found that I get a lot further in my life and I'm a lot happier when I remember the things that I have than the things that I don't have. Make it a practice to write three things that you are grateful for EVERYDAY.

Today I am grateful for:

My Life

My Family

My Creativity

Actually, this would probably be my list everyday. I'm so blessed, just for the fact that I woke up this morning! Then I look into my children's eyes, and I know, no matter what, someone loves me. If I didn't have kids, I'd know that my friends loved me. And I am super grateful for my creativity. For ALL creativity.I imagine that there is an invisible energy stream running through the universe, to me it kind of looks like the Northern lights, but it's everywhere, and I imagine that this is the "Universal Stream of Creativity." Everyone can tap into this stream of creativeness, you just have to want it. Sometimes, you tap in at the exact time as someone else, and you both have the same idea- even if they're in another country! Anyone who wants to be creative, can be. 

So today, take a minute to think about what you are grateful for. And every time you start to say "Woe is me" come back to your list of blessings.

                                         

Counting Bakasana's

 See this perfectly innocent looking guy? Just chilling, not bothering anyone, maybe waiting patiently on a scarecrow to be distracted so he can swoop in a grab some corn...

 The crow has sight, and patience. They peer far off into the distance and patiently await the perfect time to achieve their goal.

 This pose has always been difficult for me. Not because my arms and body aren't strong enough, but because I was not brave enough. I always thought I would bonk myself on the forehead, or just fall flat on my face. But with my increasing belief in myself and a daily practice I have accomplished The Crow Pose-now, my next hurdle was to be brave enough to teach my yogi's in Ananda class. I finally figured out how to do it.

I tricked them. Not in a poopy way...but I just kept moving through poses and never mentioned where I was going with it and got them into crow. And you know what? Not giving them time to doubt themselves worked! They didn't have time to think negative thoughts about themselves, nor did they have time to fear what might happen. I'm sure if at the beginning of class I had said, 'hey, were gonna do some experienced poses' they would have been nervous and doubting themselves and not enjoying the process. But they didn't have time to let fear creep in and the look of happy accomplishment on their faces was amazing.

 And that's the thing, ya know? That whole negative self talk and fear of the what ifs and what may happens, is the only obstacle holding you back in any endeavor you seek. That lesson opened my eyes- I learned how to sneak a teach, and I learned that...really, fear is nothing more than a false thought. Face that fear- go around it, go forward even if you are still afraid. But the minute you start in on yourself with the negative thoughts and speak, you will fail. That whole "can't never could, so try" statement. Yeah- that's truth.

How You See Your Truth

 One of the paintings I was working on the other day was on the coffee table when some folks came by. A lady picked them up and was looking at it when my son said "that's one of mama's Goddesses!" The lady replied with a "yeah, she always paints this face." Completely harmless statement...but for some reason every bit of wind went out of my sails and I completely deflated. She had absolutely no idea that what she said affected me. No one was aware that anything happened at all, I however, haven't painted, sketched or written since then.

 And then I realized- Duh, that's her opinion - not your truth!

 Yes, I paint the same face over and over, that's my STYLE and also, that's what I look like. I paint myself: sad eyes, wonky teeth, happy heart. It's me, over and over...and i'm okay with that. Had I not thought long and hard about this as quickly as possible, I could have been left in an artistic slump and spiral for a really long time. Some folks are always going to say things that deflate your soul. The ability to surpass that, move on, and create even more is where the challenge lies. You are the only strength that you can lean on in this creative journey. No matter how much praise you receive from the outside world, if you don't believe in yourself and your own abilities, nothing else is going to matter.

PS-That lady was my mom... 

Freebie!!

Welcome!
To all my readers new and old I'd like to gift you with a little print to keep you on your own true path!

Please feel free to share it, love it, like it, print it out and hang it where you can see it everyday!!! 

Happy MAY!! FREE PRINTABLE!

Copy and save and print and share!!

Create for Woman

I am so doing this!!! I think women everywhere should sign up and create for equality!!

Not my entry, but something like it(I'm still working on the boobies)

~PROSPECTUS: UniteWomen.org is looking for art that speaks to, examines and explores the social, political and economic issues related to women's activism. We are seeking art (all media) that expresses the women's perspective on issues of women's rights, political rights, reproductive rights, the ERA and issues of societal control which can range from literal to poetic, abstract to representational, and psychological, to social and political commentary. Submit work that explores the concepts of being a woman in today's global society and how social constructs define your experience whether internal, external, imagined or imposed, and how it defines and shapes our identities, relationships, ideas and politics. Artists are encouraged to interpret this theme broadly; submit works that have resonance and meaning to you. UniteWomen.org will present these issues in visual form, creating a public forum for action, reaction, and informed discussion.~ 

I'm So Awesome, You Are Too!

So it's not always pretty, this life you live. MAKE it pretty. Own it, decorate it and live it. Open your own doors and get on your soapbox. Shout from the rooftops about how awesome you are. Make yourself happy- the rest will follow- I PROMISE.

I wear tutu's and tiaras-
So what I'm 37 and not royalty. That's in your reality. In mine, I know that I looked damn cute dressed as a princess ballerina,and it makes chores so much more fun! Stop doing what you think others approve of and do what you approve of! Now I'm not giving you free anarchist reign- we have laws and ethics and morals for a reason. What I am saying is- who made it a rule that you can't wear pink hair at 50? Who says forever 21 is only for those under the age of 21? Why- Why is it frowned upon to have fun and act a little kooky?
I could give a seminar dressed in a monkey suit and I bet my words would reach you just the same. We put to much emphasis on adult hood and being stodgy. I refuse to be of the mindset that I need to wear a pantsuit to be accepted,or taken "seriously",  make your silliness acceptable! Prove that you can be professional, efficient and damn good at what you do- even if you are carrying a Jem lunchbox for a purse. Have fun with your life- It's yours and you may not get to come back...enjoy yourself while you can.

Positivity breeds.....more positivity!
And negativity does the same. So drop the Debbie downer act. Look on the bright side- there's always a bright side if you look for it. And if you're always looking for the downside, waiting on the other shoe to drop, sad sacking it around town, or wallowing in misery...you're going to get more of the same. You are wasting your life, if you are being down and out about everything-always. QUIT IT! Your bumming yourself out, and probably everyone within earshot...booo, NO FUN.

Forgive the asshole-for you, not for them.
Humans do stupid things. Some because they're assholes, some because they're mean, and some are really accidents. Regardless- forgive them, and move on. If I held a grudge against everyone who purposefully or not had hurt me in the past, I'd have to pull a wagon behind me, my grudge would be that big. But you're not the only person that's been wronged, or deceived  or hurt. You are, however, the only one that can make yourself keep going. Release your sadness and anger- and focus on making yourself happy.

I'm easygoing- but I'm no ones doormat.
I forgive and  move on, and I release. But I'm no sucker. I choose my arguments and let things slide. But- when you are blatantly being harmed- FIGHT BACK. Don't allow anyone ever to bully you, hurt you, cheat you- or just generally screw you over. Get away from those situations, and LEARN. REMEMBER. And don't fall for that shit again. You are not a bad person for expecting respect and speaking up for yourself. And you don't have to be violent to get your point across. But, get your point across. Make sure others realize you are a good, honest, open, and loving person- that takes no shit from nobody. That won't make you less of a good person, it'll make you better.

My life's awesome.
Because I say so. Because I make it so. Sure I have poopy days, and my husband and I argue, and my kids get wacky from time to time. But those are small compared to the fact that I'M ALIVE. I get to experience something new everyday and change and grow and learn. How awesome is that?!? Get your ass out there and live, breathe, love. Quit floating through life like a ghost...don't just exist-  create the life you want and make it freakin colorful and bright! LIVE!

BITCH

Why? Why do we live in a society that thinks it's alright to refer to women- 

The mothers of this earth

- as bitches?

As you all may or may not know, I bartend on the weekend, and I hear this word more than any other word. And it sucks. What's worse is that I hear it from the ladies just as much as the men.

"Where my bitches at"
"Damn, did you see that bitch?"
"so there were these two bitches"
"Bitch Please"
"Look at that bitch"
"hey bitch!" usually said lovingly...which makes me cringe.

Never would I drop a derogatory term towards a type of people or person...there will be no N words, no F words, no words at all. If you'd like to describe someone why not be complimentary?!? Why be negative at all? And if you are going to be an asshole, why not be intelligent? You can't think of a more hateful way to talk about a women or another group of person that you obviously despise, other than bitch?!?

Oh, wait, you don't despise women?
Ladies, you mean, you don't hate each other?
Then what the hell is up with all the name calling?!?

Every single time we use this word, we weaken the walls of our femininity, and allow abuse to seep in a bit more. The cracks start to show, and negativity pours in; breeding jealousy, paranoia, envy...all emotions that are going to rid you of self esteem and self worth.

Try this-

"Where my ladies at?"
"Damn, did you see that beautiful and powerful female?"
"So there were these two women"
"Girl, please"
"Look at that female"
"Hey dear!" "Hey love!" " Hey babe!" Hey beautiful!" or "HEY"

It's up to us to lift one another up. Remember your power, and if you can, remind someone else of theirs.

I Surpassed- So Will You

So many of us have been victims in the past, and we harbor so much self loathing and embarrassment  as if we were somehow to blame for the way we were mistreated.

I'm here to tell you, this is

UNTRUE!

I am a survivor of sexual, mental and physical abuse...actually I'm a warrior of it. I have, through art, writing, and speaking about the bullshit, been able to re-strengthen my soul and repair my wounds and realize-

I AM NOT TO BLAME.

 This was done to me...I didn't ask for it , i didn't cause it, and I sure as hell didn't like it.

If you are a survivor of abuse- become a WARRIOR. Write about it. Yell about it. Paint it out. Run it out. Talk about it. You can heal, it takes a lot of work, and sometimes a lot of tears, but the healing process won't begin until you start the process. Grasp your truth, hold on to it tight, and share it. Your story will help others learn, grow, and heal. It may even prevent.

Today I am whole

Today

I except myself

Today

I realize my potential and will nurture it forward

Today

I hold love in my heart, ready to give anyone willing, a drink

Today

There are infinite possibilities

Today

I will cherish the home in which my spirit is dwelling

Today 

The energy of my being is ablaze and ready to do great things

Today

I begin

Let Your Soul Ring True

 It's so easy to...

get caught up in competition

care too much what others think

scan online and 'wish' you could do that

spend more time on the computer than creating

Spend all of your time thinking up ideas not making

be terrified of rejection

think you are not good enough

second guess yourself

Here is what I've decided.

No one in this whole ding dang world is you. NO ONE thinks like you or shares your soul. If you have the same idea as someone and you put it out there it will still radiate of you, in the best way possible. Your artistic thumbprint will be all over it- your energy vibrating off of it. It's a piece of you! Sometimes I see someone else's work that kinda resembles mine, we were obviously working off the same creative universal wave length- no biggie, it happens.

( I am in no way saying it's cool to rip people off, in fact- ewww you lazy jerkface if you can't come up with your own ideas- the universe is huge and creative energy is everywhere- don't be a thief- or an ass)


Dang-i'm rambling...what I'm trying to say is you need to create. No matter what you think others will think or say about your piece. You need to create for YOU. Not for money, or status or peer accolades. FOR YOU.  The reason the Universe gave us creative ability is so we can express ourselves in a way that is visual and beautiful to us. The thing is, what's beautiful to us may not be beautiful to someone else, it may be crap. But who cares??? Did you feel good making it? Do you love it? Then everyone else can bugger off!

The more love and soul you put into each piece you create, it will show. Someone will notice that a certain piece you are creating speaks to them for some reason, and they will want it. Your job as an artist, is not to worry about that. Don't worry where the money will come from. CREATE from the heart and the Universe will take care of the rest...I promise. Quit worrying and wasting all of your precious energy on anything worrisome- CREATE from your heart and all will be okay.

Let your soul ring true.

Great Globs of Glitter and Goals

 I'm listing my goals and checking them twice...sound great? NO! It sucks! Not holiday goals...To Do goals. I had a REVELATION of  REMARKABILITY today- it hit me like a bolt of lightening on the way home from dropping the bubbas off at school. Money- the thorn in my side...like running through mud, my finances have been sluggish and sad. I have literally sat in the bathroom floor and cried about lack of cash and how I'd keep the lights on.
BUT TODAY(!) I know how to change it!

Money = Energy (good or bad)
Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative

 I've always been surrounded by unhealthy money thoughts- I've always said "I hate money" or "I don't need money" or, " I'm an artist, I don't think that way."
 Well guess what? Hells yeah I need money-at least for my necessities! I mean, heat aint free!
And all this time I've been telling the Universe " I don't need money" and all this time the Universe has been like, "Uh, okay dumbass- let's see how long this can last"

Well I'm DONE.

I need money! We all do! Until my dream of trade and barter comes true, I have to pay the bills.
So...here's what I'm doing starting RIGHT NOW-
NO MORE Procrastination, no more of the word Later in my vocabulary...no more energy drains...
#1 energy drain- the computer
#2 energy drain- the TV
#3 energy drain- the couch
#4 energy drain- excuses
 I love to make and make but if I sit on the couch or computer I will never get back up! and even though my art supplies are right there, I never reach for them!
#1 Money Drain- negativity towards money
#2 Money Drain- frivolous spending ( Starbucks? new journals? The same shade of Golden paint?)
#3 Money Drain- NO PLAN
#4 Money Drain- excuses
So I'm creating (TODAY) a plan, for cash coming in, how much I need to survive, what will be leftover, how I can create more, and savings. Every receipt will be saved, and I created a daily journal ( i already had it, sheesh) of every penny spent. THIS PLAN WILL WORK-
I'm calling it Goals of Glitter because a.) I put glitter on the cover:) and b.) It makes my eyes glitter in the light making a HUGE leap towards financial freedom! I will post a weekly update of my progress and we can cheer together!!!

I am creating my financial freedom!!! Today!!

love love love

Oh yeah...
 "HEY UNIVERSE- I'M READY TO HAVE CASH NOW PLEASE! I WILL WORK HARDER!"

Enissophobia

Ahhhh- what could it be? Sounds terrifying...and to me and I'm sure others like me, it is.

Enissophobia-The fear of being Criticized.

Sometimes, for me this is my inner critic, debilitating fear- it keeps me from even approaching a new adventure. My inner asshole- always telling me how I'm not good enough, creative enough,  smart enough, brave enough.

Sometimes, it's other people, spouses, artists, family, friends. You want them to appreciate what you've put your heart and soul into.

Here's a few tips I've learned recently...

As much as you may love others in your life- they don't think the way you do. They will never appreciate or sometimes even understand, the same things as you. When you're so happy about a new painting, and someone has no idea about art- or thinks they know everything about art- of course their going to judge it! And usually, thinking their being helpful, they try to tell you how to change it, improve it, lessen the YOU-NESS of it.
They are not judging YOU. They are judging or criticizing an object. To them- it's just a material object that you are showing them, not a piece of your soul. And it should just be an object. This may be hard to hear. But you should really make unattachment a part of your art.
ART IS THE PROCESS- MAKING IS ART- THE RESULT IS JUST A THING...
Once you realize that, art will be much more enjoyable!

You should never ever show your work to anyone else unless you are prepared to here an opinion. And it's just that, an opinion. It's not your truth, so it shouldn't affect your idea of yourself.

As far as that inner critic goes...fear is a hateful beast that rears it's head when you want to better yourself or grow, guess what? Fear is not real- it's just a cloud of second guessing. You had the thought to try, that's half of it. The big half! All you have to do is PROCEED. You're great! And you can do it! And so what, if it doesn't work out, try again, just try differently  But never psych yourself out. That would be failure. And YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!

Criticism even constructive, is just anothers opinion. Sometimes helpful, it SHOULD NEVER be scary. And you don't have to accept it as truth. You know your truth, just follow that!

Love Your Body

Raise your body image with the begining of my Official 

Body Consciousness Plan

I'm really working on myself inside and out. In doing so I've been figuring out things that work for me, and I think they'll work for you too! Let's follow these together and I'll post my results monthly...I can't wait to see what December will hold for my soul!

 1. Become aware of your negative body talk. Negativity affects you inside and out, I can't say it enough, there are enough negative people saying negative things about you, don't add to it! Only point out what you do like and repeat it to yourself daily. I love my butt, it's big, and round and well; baby got back. I love it...it makes my jeans look amazing and my dresses fit awesomely!

 2. Do an energy scan- Once a day (I do it after yoga, before meditation) sit down and close your eyes. Breathe in and out with deep evenly counted breaths. Turn your attention towards your body- starting at the tips of your toes, Notice if anything feels weird, pained, or tense. If it does, place your hand on that spot and concentrate on "breathing" positive oxygen into that spot.Continue to do that throughout your body. Dis-ease can't live in a place that is oxygenated. And it never hurts to envision light pouring into your hand as well!

 3. Talk with your body image- Sit in a comfortable position, breathing deeply and evenly. Close your eyes and envision yourself sitting across from you. Notice every detail of your image. Ask it questions- Are you okay? Do you have anything to tell me? To teach me? Make sure to tell your image how much you love it. Visualize giving yourself a hug and really loving yourself.When you are finished, journal your results. It's amazing what doing this monthly or so and journaling about it, what a difference you'll read in your writings.

I'll continue to add to this series throughout the month. Let's make November POSITIVE IMAGE MONTH! It never hurts to give yourself some lovin'!

How I Settled Into My Skin

I'll be 37 this month and I'm really just settling into me.

I just wish that I worried more about who I was than what I was or what I could do to make others know me in my twenties and teens.

I was sexually abused from a young age, and then I allowed abuse through my teen years- giving of myself and being used up and tossed to the side for attention. Once I got to my twenties I was hard and cold...even after I had my son at 20~ I was un-affectionate and hard to read. My first husband and I split up at the age of 21, and I dated unsuccessfully for three years...cheating or being cheated on, falling for people who I knew were not for me, just because of the crowd I'd keep. During all of this time- I never accepted how unhappy I was, never was willing to accept the fact that I was being untrue, and down right mean to myself. My husband and I got back together when i was 24 and I was happy...in love...ME! For a bit...we got pregnant with our daughter and she was born in '01- I had someone who loved me truly, I loved them truly and we were honestly happy. Then he died. Two months after my baby was born, he had a work accident and died suddenly, during the day. I was devastated. Ruined. LOST.

FF through the doom and gloom to my husband of 8 years. Honest, soulful, beautiful. He was younger than me and accepting of a widow with two young children. Now~ I'm not painting this into a floral and rosy picture of joy...we've had our ups and downs...and for the most part the downs have been something I brought on...I never allowed my self to grieve- Grieve my childhood, my teen years, my first Husband...my innocence.

2005- I began to create...art, yarn, food, clothing.

 I had forgotten how much I loved to make things with my hands. I never took art, well not since the 7th grade. When I was little I would cut up paper and create elaborate structures, sometimes taller than me...I would get lost in a book and then spend the rest of the day recreating the story through my drawings. As a teen, I would cut out pictures of others and glue them in a sketchbook, writing through my anger and changing the images to suit my mood...never quite breaking through but always feeling a bit better afterwards.

So when I remembered my hands could be used to create joy, not just shield pain...I used them constantly. I painted, cooked, spun yarn, sewed. CREATED! Every new thing or task that I accomplished gave me a little bit more of my soul back. I became whole! A solid girl who was not afraid to be real, blunt and honest.

TRUE.

My family has always supported me, even when they didn't know what was wrong with me other than I was cold and angry and bitter. And my wonderful husband had my back and helped me in every way he could, as well as giving me TWO MORE (!) beautiful children.

Now- I'm happy, mostly, and when things set me back I get over them, knowing that everything will be better. I now have faith...in me and the world, in man-kind.

Now I create daily

I journal- writing and doodling my emotions all over pages in my books, working through my emotions without wearing them on my sleeve before they've been examined.

I meditate- Listening to me, getting deeper and deeper into my soul, sometimes I'm so deep I'm not in my body, just fully encased in my soul- able to understand what is before me.

I paint-Creating colorful shapes that may make no sense to others but to me they tell an intimate story of my past present and future...creation has become my art. Not the finished product.

I move- Everyday...Yoga has tethered me more solidly into my physical body and allowed me to feel at home in it. I no longer feel trapped in a place that I'm uncomfortable, don't like and am scared of.

I love- I allow myself to feel without the fear of being betrayed, hurt. I can control what affects me. Without feeling separated from myself, I feel whole. My family, children, husband, friends encase me in love and warmth and safety, and I am not afraid to return that love...I give freely of my emotions and except the world around me.

This is what I do and did to become me...I didn't start this page this way, trying to give my story, but I felt moved to be real and true. I have learned a lot in 36 years and I would not change a thing...I get to be me fully and make no excuses for it. I own my soul -LOVE,  ART and CREATIVITY have helped me see that. And now I know that my reason for being here is to help others who are hurting, or don't understand themselves fully, or are just stuck a bit- how to be TRUE. I teach truth and love through creativity and meditation and journaling. And I want to help everyone I can.

I hope that my story opened me up a bit for you...I honestly believe creativity can help you transform your life mentally and physically. And I want to help you...please email me at happysappytrees@gmail.com and I promise to try and help you with prompts and love. The classes I am creating will help us dig deeper into our souls and teach us that TRUTH is the way.

thank you for giving me a little of your time today...

Love,

Anastasia

GLOW

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my road...

My road has had pot holes and pitfalls and fallen limbs and cesspools of alcohol, immaturity, lust and drugs.Every hard time that has be-fallen my road I now know that I created. I've lost my path (or just walked in the mud alongside) many times. But, FINALLY, I'm trying to keep my feet planted firmly in the earth and walk my path, taking time to enjoy the sights, smells and sounds. Following my feet, soul and path. Trusting that the way that I'm going is the way that i am SUPPOSED to go. I've been lost so many times I know for sure that I never want to be lost again. I like being here. I like me. I will never be perfect, and I may stumble here and there, because that's the process...but as long as I don't force my trip and just allow myself to flow, all will be well.

Trust yourself- your soul knows what it needs and how to get it whether you do or not.

New Workshop!

My friend Rachel and I are going to have a Gastonia Paint Party Studio! It's going to be wonderful!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

7:00 PM - 9:30 PM

A fun activity for date night, girls night out, work parties or just for pure fun!
Adults are invited to attend this 2.5 hour evening class where each person will create a version of the “Painting of the Day.”
Students can be beginners to advanced painters. The goal is fun through creativity. Canvases, paint, and brushes will be supplied.
Attendees may bring a beverage to sip and/or food to munch during the event, if they so desire.

If you're within driving distance, we'd love to have you!

WishBIG Instructor- Vivienne McMaster

Vivienne McMaster

My second awesome teacher in the WishBIG e-camp(starting Feb 19th- go enroll!!!) is Vivienne McMaster.
 Vivienne is a Vancouver based Photographer with a great love for capturing authentic beauty and the healing potential of self-portraiture.

 A late bloomer to photography, only having discovered its importance in her life 3 years ago, but ever since that day it has taken her world by storm.  She mainly work digitally for portrait sessions but have often been known to pull out a film camera or a vintage camera to get a little something different!

 Vivenne is into a lot of the same things as me- and my most favorite thing she's about is self-love and courage. I love the way she teaches self confidence through self-portraiture and writing. She teaches extensive  E-courses in Becoming your own Muse - to finding your light in photography. Go to her blog TODAY- you'll totally thank me! 

The Reason I'm a Bartender...for now...

 This is my awesome friend Xaine (Go to her site-NOW, you will be astounded by her talent)- an amazing Fiber Artist, super creative and talented in everyway; and-she's having a bad day today...ie: "I can't make it financially, I'm not good enough, I should just give up now,  I'll never make it" etc...

 I have these days A LOT. They're scary, debilitating  and sometimes brings on such a strong wave of depression, I won't even go into the Studio for days. WHY? What happens in our head that makes us do so well for so long and then in the blink of an eye we are so depressed we decide we'll never do anything with our lives and we may as well quit now. I know that when I have a bad night bar-tending or my bills are due, I  start thinking " If I wasn't such a crappy artist I wouldn't have to work at the bar" which continues into," I'll never make money, I'm not a real artist, I should quit now, I don't try hard enough"... which sends me into an even further decline of looking online and comparing my work to others work and getting jealous, and wishing and wanting, and not be as good as...which wastes DAYS. At the time I don't see that, but what I SHOULD be doing is CREATING THROUGH IT ALL!
 When I start feeling 'less than'- I need to get off my arse and get paint on my hands, or a pencil to some paper, and work through my pain, and self doubts. I have to force my way through that cloud of funk.

As for comparing myself to others- that should be a NO NO in all artists lives. I'm an orange your an apple- hell, usually i'm a cactus...not comparable- yet I do. Finding inspiration from other artists is awesome- being inspired to the point of jealousy or competition is CRAZY. I'll never make art like you- my soul is like a snowflake, a thumbprint...it's unique to me and even if I painted the same picture it would still not look exactly the same because it would have my art soul all over it.

 Yeah, so I'm not self employed yet, and I have to work another job to help out...but that should fuel me into wanting to work harder and prove to myself that I AM AN ARTIST! Sometime, part-time, quiet time, all the time... doesn't matter, I'm an Artist and as an ARTIST I have to MAKE. ART is MAKING AND DOING, not the done...not the product, and the more I make, the more options for others there are out there for some one to fall in love with, and want to purchase. I will forever more try to work through my depression instead of marinating in self loathing!!! That's a promise I'm making to me and you!