HappyTrees Studio

Oct 17, 2012

Today I Believe


If you pull back my skin this is what you would see.

 Today is the day I make a move...I have to decide which path at the fork in the road to take. And it looks like its going to be the one overgrown with weeds and briars, potholes everywhere. But i'm sure I can forge through and create a beautiful path with flowers along the sides and no feral animals in the wooded areas, it's just going to take me actually DOING the work. I tend to plan and dream and start...and fizzle...so my goal is to finish everything I set out to do today...and for the rest of my life! I need completion, but when you finish something- then it's open and bare and available to be criticized and judged...and that's something i'm still not comfortable with...the non-attachment to my work, my life, me...I think I've held the thought tight in the back of my mind, that if I'm always a work in progress, I can never feel the sharp sting of the criticism that's sure to follow. And who says there going to be criticism? Well, I can only assume my inner critic; that jerk that tells me constantly i'm NOT good enough, he's the ass that's been fueling my fears for 37 years. And I'm putting a stop to his whiny sniveling voice TODAY. 
I AM ENOUGH
I AM AN ARTIST
I AM BEAUTIFUL
I AM A GOOD MOTHER
As I write these mantras statements, I KNOW that they are true, I own them, but then, right when I'm about to finish a project, I feel the fear creeping up on me, and I find something else, "more important" stuff to work on, procrastination...it's a hell of a crutch.
So no more!
I WILL BELIEVE...
in me
in my art
in my life
in my abilities
I'm awesome, I just sometimes forget it!

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