HappyTrees Studio

Sep 15, 2013

How You See Your Truth





 One of the paintings I was working on the other day was on the coffee table when some folks came by. A lady picked them up and was looking at it when my son said "that's one of mama's Goddesses!" The lady replied with a "yeah, she always paints this face." Completely harmless statement...but for some reason every bit of wind went out of my sails and I completely deflated. She had absolutely no idea that what she said affected me. No one was aware that anything happened at all, I however, haven't painted, sketched or written since then.

 And then I realized- Duh, that's her opinion - not your truth!

 Yes, I paint the same face over and over, that's my STYLE and also, that's what I look like. I paint myself: sad eyes, wonky teeth, happy heart. It's me, over and over...and i'm okay with that. Had I not thought long and hard about this as quickly as possible, I could have been left in an artistic slump and spiral for a really long time. Some folks are always going to say things that deflate your soul. The ability to surpass that, move on, and create even more is where the challenge lies. You are the only strength that you can lean on in this creative journey. No matter how much praise you receive from the outside world, if you don't believe in yourself and your own abilities, nothing else is going to matter.

PS-That lady was my mom... 

2 comments:

Xiane said...

I think no one's opinion matters more than my Mom's does... and she has managed to do this so many times in my life, so this is a familiar story to me. [and she doesn't meant to cause those feelings in me!]
However, I realized that she's not my audience; she's my mom, and she sees a different perspective than the outside world does, and that's okay! I'm not creating for her, and that's okay too. I'm creating for others who need my vision... and I'm creating for me and my truth.
I love your art. I see you in every piece, and that's so wonderful.

Anastasia Boswell said...

Exactly what I was trying to say- It took a moment for me to realize that she's not my audience, not too many people in this region are. But I do have an audience and they are very encouraging. I hope that every artist knows that their art may not be for everyone, but that's ok, as long as you love it, and you're passionate about it, that's all that matters.