Ahhhh- what could it be? Sounds terrifying...and to me and I'm sure others like me, it is.
Enissophobia-The fear of being Criticized.
Sometimes, for me this is my inner critic, debilitating fear- it keeps me from even approaching a new adventure. My inner asshole- always telling me how I'm not good enough, creative enough, smart enough, brave enough.
Sometimes, it's other people, spouses, artists, family, friends. You want them to appreciate what you've put your heart and soul into.
Here's a few tips I've learned recently...
As much as you may love others in your life- they don't think the way you do. They will never appreciate or sometimes even understand, the same things as you. When you're so happy about a new painting, and someone has no idea about art- or thinks they know everything about art- of course their going to judge it! And usually, thinking their being helpful, they try to tell you how to change it, improve it, lessen the YOU-NESS of it.
They are not judging YOU. They are judging or criticizing an object. To them- it's just a material object that you are showing them, not a piece of your soul. And it should just be an object. This may be hard to hear. But you should really make unattachment a part of your art.
ART IS THE PROCESS- MAKING IS ART- THE RESULT IS JUST A THING...
Once you realize that, art will be much more enjoyable!
You should never ever show your work to anyone else unless you are prepared to here an opinion. And it's just that, an opinion. It's not your truth, so it shouldn't affect your idea of yourself.
As far as that inner critic goes...fear is a hateful beast that rears it's head when you want to better yourself or grow, guess what? Fear is not real- it's just a cloud of second guessing. You had the thought to try, that's half of it. The big half! All you have to do is PROCEED. You're great! And you can do it! And so what, if it doesn't work out, try again, just try differently But never psych yourself out. That would be failure. And YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!
Criticism even constructive, is just anothers opinion. Sometimes helpful, it SHOULD NEVER be scary. And you don't have to accept it as truth. You know your truth, just follow that!